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yoo_mee
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Name: Yoo Mee
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 2/5/1977
Gender: Female
Interests: many, but not committed....
Expertise: hmm.. i thought i had some, but the last time i checked the treasure chest, they were not that spectacular.....
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/16/2004
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| it's been 6 months since i left california, and it already feels like i've been in georgia forever.
and still sometimes, i find myself shocked at my very own being - i'm in georgia.
many things have happened since last september.
like, i bought a huge house! it's got 5 bedrooms, 4 baths, and an unfinished basement. sam is spoiled in his own 3 car-port garage. i have a yard with flowers that i actually have to tend to on the weekends. and surprisingly i'm really excited to see the new buds on my hydrangeas. the front of my house faces a meadow. and in the morning, you can see a family of deer grazing just as the morning fog lifts up.
some things haven't changed. my favorite comfort food is still kimchi jjigae chased down with a bass. i still crack up while watching 'everybody loves raymond' even though i've pretty much watched all the episodes. i picked up art again; i'm taking lessons. we mostly did sketches in march, and we start oil in april. so hopefully, i'll have some art work to display soon.
lately, i find myself wondering where i would be had i stayed in LA or moved back to NYC. but considering how hard i work and how stressed i am monday through friday, i can't imagine myself in any other place. i think i'm ready to settle down, or maybe i've found myself already settled down without being conscious of it. and as frightening as that sounds, it's shocking to find that i'm okay with it.
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| It's always sad to pack up and leave. You don't realize how small
your living space is until it's just a room with boxes. Packing
up and leaving makes me feel small and empty- like somehow the years
passed in the space are insignificant. Maybe it's because I don't
really feel like I've accomplished or grown much personally other than
becoming a pediatric dentist. For a measly piece of paper, I've
labored for two years in a city where there is no change is seasons- no
sense of time passing other than the calender sheets that I monthly
discard.
I can't say that LA is my fondest place, however I'm sad that I'm
leaving the few friends I've made here. I'm not sorry that I ever
came to LA, because I have met many important people whom I have come
to love. But rather than daring myself to embrace all the good
that LA has to offer, I had tucked myself away these past two years,
kept my head down, and stressed over such insignificant things.
It was only in LA that I was ever told that I don't smile much.
I think that makes me sadder. I've always believed that the key
to enjoying any place was to own it and make it your own. Now as
I sit in my room of boxes and dust bunnies, I wonder what happened to
me and LA. Maybe my expectations were too high. Or too
low? Maybe it was such a contrast to life in NY (biggest was
dealing with traffic and parking). Or maybe I needed more than
two years to possess and feel accepted in LA. (It did take me two
years to love NY.)
I'm not sure what to think about my time in LA. I almost feel
like I'm starting out as a blank slate when I move to Georgia.
Maybe that makes me feel sad as well as frightened. Or maybe I
should be thankful to LA - for stripping me of any preconceived notion
of what my life should be like. I can't say it would have been
practical if I had stayed in NY. I definitely am more realistic
about life as I start a new chapter in Georgia, but as I don't know
what to expect, I am eager to see how I will remind myself of who I am
and who I am to be.
The day I moved in, I had only two beers in the fridge. I cleaned
out my fridge today, but left one beer for my last night in LA - Spaten
oktoberfest. Kinda sweet. Here's to LA. *gulp*
and here's to GA *gulp* ahhhhh.....
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| It's settled.
I'm moving to Atlanta August 22nd. My one-way ticket is
purchased, half of my stuff packed, and the other half clutters my
small bungalow.
It's been a long journey to get to Atlanta, and rather than being
excited, I'm tired. And it's a lot more frightening than I had
measured it to be. I think I'm scared that my life would be even
more dull than it has been here in LA. (Sad, I know. LA
should have been more fun, but somehow the last eight months here
sapped me of any joy.... :)
Maybe I'm frightened at the thought of plunging into life in suburbia
USA. I'm moving into a house full of kids - they fight a
lot. My sister-in-law has threatened them with shots from Yoo
Mee-gomo if they don't behave. Nice.... I'll be the old hag
living in the basement.
So, here's to Atlanta and all the unexpected craziness or dullness that will come in the next year.
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| I think I'm really tired with all the work I have to finish. I'm
on the brink of burn-out; I just hope I'm not too tired for my trip to
Africa. My move to Atlanta is less than two months away, and
although I'm very sure that the decision is right for now, I'm a little
frightened.... sigh....
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| So I bought my ticket to Africa- S Africa and Kenya in July. My
mom's gonna assist me while I extract teeth. I told my attending
yesterday, and he somewhat berated me.
"You're young. Why would you risk your health and possibly pass
weird diseases to your next generation - all in the name of God."
He continued, "Christians think that because they're going on missions,
God will protect them from any risks."
While I appreciated his concern, I didn't know quite how to
respond. Perhaps because I didn't really think of the potential
risks involved. (To qualify my attending's statements, I should
explain that although he is not a Christian, his sister was a
missionary to Africa and survived malaria while her "sister" did not.)
I'm currently reading Sam Harris's "The End of Faith." It's
interesting; it makes me think. But perhaps he should retitle it,
"The End of Reason." He brings up the question of faith vs.
reason, and whether a harmonious marriage can exist between the two
without compormising the basic tenets or "truths" of faith, whatever it
is. He illustrates very well the acts of terror committed in the
past millenia by Christians, Jews and Muslims, as well as the confusion
of religious moderates advocating pluralism.
It makes me wonder what sort of Christian I need to be. In
college, it was the sort of "if you only knew" attitude that I took
with my non-Christian friends. I haven't quite figured out the
overlapping boundaries between faith and reason, and maybe they may
never be quite defined beyond personal experiences. However, the
"if you only knew" attitude that exists because I can't explain my
faith beyond personal experiences, I find is not enough. As I may
be moving to a very Republican, southern state that may very well
become the metropolis of the Bible Belt, I'm a little frightened at the
thought that I may stop challenging my ever changing lines between
faith and reason. I really hope that doesn't happen. Maybe
part of the reason why I go overseas is to witness firsthand
the acts of faith in communities where reason operates so differently
from my normal life.
BTW, has anyone read this book? Inputs would be cool.... :)
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